Need advice and full honesty - How can I become again the student/ doctor I wish to?

Hi, everyone. I am a 1st year medstudent in Russia (foreigner) and I feel a bit lost. I always imagined in detail the kind of doctor I wanted to be and the kind of student I had to be to reach my goals, but nothing is going as planned and I am questioning what I have to change to make things ok. Despite the fact that I'm deeply interested in all the things we study here I never feel enough and I dont know if just my methods are bad or what. It feels like there not enough hours in the day and just everything happening at the same time. I didn't want to be kind always depending on AI for studies, or just neglecting some subjects but I tried to make it through but I failed on that too. So instead of enjoying the subjects that I know that they are very interesting I just became a robot. Can't sleep normally or eat normally or do any social activities or sport, having anxiety every time I have to start working on something ( even if when I succeed to go over it, I feel good about learning new things). Plus the language barrier and the other life problems (money, administrative and so on)Fact that I got sick and skipped some classes and just started randomly skipping because it feels easier and less anxiousfull. So I am in a point that I do not recognize myself anymore and just basically have panic attacks randomly. But I cannot think about me doing something else other than this. It feels like I have soul link with med or smth. And I feel that I have the capabilities to succeed brilliantly on this ( used to be the school gifted student, and even in our university here, some teachers told me that I can do great things ) so I don't wanna lost this opportunity. The text is kinda hard to understand so feel free to ask any questions to understand better or if you've been through something similar to share your experience, Thank you all in advance for reading