Relapsing after months

Straight guy. Been relapsing and purging for several years now. Had not listened in like 3 months and felt really past it. Got the urge and gave in last night. Now all i wanna do is listen more. Thinking about buying pink stuff. Thinking about c*ck.... ugh.... was not thinking of that at all these months.

Maybe I can pull out and abort this relapse in its infancy? I don't want to spend a few more weeks spiraling and listening constantly... so much to do!