ADHD and OCD

So I have been to or spoken to numerous psychs, therapists, social workers, nueropsychs, family and friends, Np’s. Parents. i even went to ASD evaluation and real one that cost like 2-3k. i was t even close or borderline in the results. like a 2/14 and a 0/10 on the MDOS or whatever. they said I have confidence issues, ADHD, and OCD and weed abuse. I have also done a WAIS-IV with personality and IQ. I asked the tester and she laughed when I suggested ASD. However, any time I get rejected by a job ir girl or I make a “social mistake” I get into this depressive hyper focused loop where I cant stop researching ASD-1. 

I go on re-read the diagnostic 5 times or the internet and nothing works. I still believe I am fundamentally off. I come on to these forums and I can relate to the ADHD stuff, not holding down a job, finding it hard to study, day dreaming, impulsive, feeling different, ADHD style meltdowns. Teachers as a kid mentioned it, losing shit. and then I go on the autism forums and I cant really relate to most of it. my sensory issues aren’t extreme, I can read people (theory of mind), my stims arent at that level, I have had girlfriends and other romantic opportunities. I crush interviews snd have been told I have a sales personality by sales people. So why do I keep doing this? I am not looking for validation , I am wondering if any other ADHD-I types with OCD traits go through this? Btw wrote this post in like 10 minutes with huperfocus.