Moral OCD and writing/interpreting stories

I'm curious to know if anyone else has these issues or something similar. I have been struggling academically because of these problems, and I don't know if I'm just finding excuses to be lazy or what. So I thought someone here could maybe relate, even though I am not diagnosed, but I am considering checking it out.

- I can't create fictional characters. It makes me feel gross and sick inside, like I've committed a horrible sin or something. Like I'm trying to create something I can control and take advantage of. To me, this somehow indicates that I view other people this way. It feels wrong to me if I try to place real humanity into an individual that only I control.

- I can't bring myself to try and interpret literature unless I know exactly what the author had in mind for every word. It feels like I'm somehow manipulating the work and trying to make myself out to be a source of objective truth, which I obviously am not.

This is only the tip of the iceberg, but this has really been bothering me for the past few months especially.