I will never ever have a woman

Honestly, I don't even know what to do with a relationship. These days, if you're a guy, you have to be performative and give way too much just to get crumbs in return. Plus, I've reached my age with zero experience with women, spit out by my family loaded with trauma, abuse, violence and deprivation. Hell, if I'd ki**ed someone back when I could have, people would be telling me "poor thing" today about the terrible situation I lived through