bleeding - need advice

i really need an advice , i get weird blooding everytime i try sexual attemps with my boyfriend, even finger makes me blood , we never reached a ,,normal,, sexual act because whenever its happening it hurts very bad to the point i feel like im getting ripped from inside. we tried it about 5 times doing everything correctly, using condoms, not putting too much effort or doing it fast, and it just never feels good , but the blooding concerns me so much because i would blood when my period wasnt even supposed to happen, i really dont know whats it about and i have no one to ask for a advice , and im embaressed to see a specialist even though im already 19, and also because of this i no longer have sexual desire, it starts to associate only with pain and i dont know what to do , if anyone faced something similar i will take advices, thanks