Night's are the hardest.

It's alright in the morning. I have ton of energy, I want to do everything in life but at night's thoughts about my ex, my past failures and for some reason i just wanna end thing's. It's a fuckin vicious cycle i can't seem to stop. It's also the reason i can't wake up early in the morning and do the things i want coz i sleep at around 4 or 3 after being completely exhausted.

I wish i never took a gap year. I did nothing just wasted my time. I still don't know what's my purpose in life and what i wanna do. I don't think i would be getting in a good uni and would be stuck in this 3rd world country till death. I never wanna get married or partner anymore. I enjoy things alone as long as they are in day time. Can anyone tell me how i can fall asleep early?! I don't wanna take sleeping pills.