Dating Girl with a complicated past—unsure how to move forward Bdsm kink

Title: 29M dating 29F with a complicated past—unsure how to move forward

I (29M) recently started seeing a woman (29F). We’ve been on two dates so far, and honestly, things felt easy and natural at first—we get along, there’s mutual attraction, and conversation flows well.

But early on, she opened up about her past, and I’m not sure how to process it. She told me she’s into BDSM/kink, and that when she was around 19, she had a phase where she was sleeping with guys more casually in that context. She also shared that her last relationship lacked emotional support, and overall it sounds like she’s had a tough time mentally—depression, possible unresolved trauma, etc.

She says she hasn’t been active like that for the past 5–6 years and now wants a proper, emotionally connected relationship. She’s also mentioned she’s bisexual, which doesn’t bother me in itself, but it’s another layer I’m trying to understand in the bigger picture.

On my end, I got out of a breakup about 8 months ago. I only recently started dating again, and my mindset was more “casual to maybe something semi-serious,” not jumping straight into something deeply emotional. The issue is she seems to want emotional depth quite quickly, and I struggle with opening up that fast. When I don’t, she tends to pull back or close off, which creates this push-pull dynamic.

I do like her, but I feel conflicted:

\\- I don’t know how much her past should matter vs. focusing on who she is now

\\- I’m unsure if I’m in the right headspace for the kind of emotional relationship she wants

\\- I don’t know if I should ask more about her past to understand her better, or let it be and focus on the present

\\- Part of me worries she might be using kink or relationships to cope with deeper issues (not sure if that’s fair or just my assumption)

Would appreciate some perspective:

Am I overthinking this? Is this just an incompatibility in timing/emotional needs, or something I should try to work through

TL;DR:

29M seeing 29F—good connection but she opened up early about a traumatic past, past casual BDSM encounters, and now wants a deep emotional relationship. I’m only 8 months out of a breakup and was looking for something more casual, and I struggle to open up quickly. Not sure if I’m overthinking her past or if we’re just mismatched in timing and emotional needs.