How do you know

I know it doesn’t make any difference but to continue to date women feels wrong to me when I know I could probably medicate myself, become religious and get a boyfriend. I’m 29f, I’m barely attracted to men. I’m upset when I see girls happy with men because I can’t be. I don’t crave a man’s touch and I don’t want to be intimate with them. There’s nothing they can offer me that I don’t already have so to speak. Nothing of value can be added to my life by a guy, only a woman. I questioned through my teens twenties etc never considered myself bi though until now. I know what made me this way and it’s irrelevant. To me, it feels “easier” to date women, dating a guy feels like the hard thing. And there’s a lot of beauty in that, being able to love a man and be in straight relationship. Which is what keeps me here. Maybe I should try.