Is it weird to think something is wrong with me?

I want to see a therapist again. I’m 20 F and I saw a therapist at 17 when my parents first divorced but the guy wasn’t very helpful and didn’t really help me unpack anything we sat in silence a lot and he’d just ask how my day was even though I was willing to talk.

I want to see a therapist agin not because I’m self diagnosing myself or anything but I seriously think I’m In a bad place mentally but I’m scared I’m making it up in my head.

My dad doesn’t believe in seeing therapists so he didn’t know when I went last time and I’m not sure if my mom’s insurance will cover therapy again because she switched jobs. My dad makes good money but my mom doesn’t so I don’t want to waste resources on something that doesn’t matter but I feel like I’m spiraling.

I don’t know if I’m being dramatic but I have a big tendency to overthink things and what I think are intrusive thoughts that cause a lot of anxiety. My self esteem is really low and always has been and for the past few years I feel like I’ve distanced myself from my own life. I’m in college so a lot has happened but I don’t feel as connected to my life as I feel I should.

Something that really bothers me I that I used to struggle with Self harm and I’m starting to notices those tendencies coming back to me.

How would I approach asking my mom to help me find a therapist again or should I just try and find one on my own? Would it even be worth it to speak to someone. I hear people say often that insecure people are too selfish and that I should just think of my own life less but that’s not easy to do for me. I’m almost too self aware and I’m not sure I can deal with living like this for the rest of my life I feel like I need a change.