Is it normal as a new grad to need help with tasks you’re doing for the first time on your own even if you saw it during orientation?

I’m recently off orientation, my first few shifts alone and even though I saw/did things during orientation, I didn’t get to do some things on my own. I recently asked another nurse to make sure I was doing something right as it was my first time on my own and it involved high risk medications.

she said she would help and then said, didnt you learn how to do this on orientation? I said I did but I just wanted to make sure and she kind of implied that I should see it and then be able to do it on my own. she was off orientation for a year and a half and she still helped me, but it made me feel like I should have already known how to do it. i don’t want my coworkers to see me as incompetent but I’d rather do that than not ask and mess something up.

I just got down on myself because ive never been a quick learner. I usually need to see/do something multiple times to get comfortable with it. everyone is always happy to help, but Im so nervous about looking and being incompetent. it would never cross my mind to do something I’m not sure about but I just keep wondering if I should just be able to do if after being able to see it.

another thing that happened was I got a transfer and was struggling with the computer side of admits, and I just felt so dumb because I needed help with it and it was so easy. I ask SOOOO many questions, and even though I’ve been shown before, I still feel so unconfident about it.

im also the only new grad on my unit who I’ve worked with so it’s hard for me to tell if I’m asking too many stupid questions. the other day I asked a nurse to come help me verify an insulin order. She had no problem with it but I get so anxious with insulin and stuff that I just feel like I can’t do it on my own right now. It’s so hard not having that preceptor safety net.