I feel like my [22M] partner [18M] isn't making the effort to see me
I'm M22 and my partner is M18, and for context I will say I do not have my license yet but have been working on it so the traveling is on his part atm so I can get how thats stressful. But anyways me and him have been in an actual relationship for 1 month, but have known each other over 2 and have only seen each other a total of 4 times. We get to see each other maybe once a week or two and thats it, and hes never able to see me on the weekdays. He has his own car but its a manual that he doesn't like driving and uses that as an excuse not to use it to see me, even though he's had it for months so you'd think hes had more than enough time to get used to it, so he relies on his moms car when she lets him. I mentioned it's sad I can only get to see him once every 1 or 2 weeks, and he said it's his fault cause he could use his car but chooses not to, and that makes me feel like im not worth the effort for him to even drive the car. The reason weekdays don't work is cause he does online school and he can't use his moms car on a weekday. I try to make plans with him but he always says "idk", and said he doesn't know what gonna happen in his day to day, but I feel like, well isn't that the reason you make PLANS with someone? And then said "sometimes things come up for me", but things come up for me too, I always try to make time for him, and I'll literally plan my days around the rare dates I get with him. For context we were gonna see each other last Friday and my mother and grandmother wanted me to go out to town with them but I stayed home waiting for him, but he wasn't even able to come so I wasted my time waiting for nothing, then we were talking about seeing each other later that night then he fell asleep out of nowhere. I've also done all I can to make him happy and comfortable within the relationship, ive even spent literally over a 100 dollars in gifts for him, snacks for him, and putting gas in the car but haven't gotten any gift in return and I feel as if he's not putting in as much effort as I am, and the only sorta effort he is putting in is the traveling to see me. I've been feeling pretty lonely in this relationship lately because i never get to see him.
I'm not sure exactly what to do and just need advice on how I should approach things, or whether anyone think this relationship could be salvagable or not.
TLDR: I feel like my boyfriend isn't putting in enough effort to come see me and I feel like he's always making an excuse not to.
Posted Apr 24, 2026, 8:28 PM UTC