Falls & Brain Bleeds

My mom has been in a LTC facility for just under 2 years and she has early-onset dementia. Recently she’s been having falls and sometimes they’re unwitnessed, and even more recently seizures after the falls. She’s been transferred to the local ER for checkups after, each time, as per the instructions I gave when she was admitted to the LTC.

Today she got a CT scan and found she has brain bleeds. I had a long discussion with the ER doctor who did the tests about next steps and we both agreed that brain surgery to drain the bleeds probably won’t do much to improve the amount of quality days / her QOL. He mentioned stuff like extreme risks of delirium and anesthesia for my mom too.

I guess I’m at a loss here. Has anyone else gone through this? Is this the beginning of the end for my mom? Has anyone else had to make the awful choice that feels like you’re dooming your parent like this? I’m having a really hard time with this and I’m hoping others here can share similar experiences. The doctor mentioned I can always change my mind about the surgery and call about starting the consultation for the surgery again but … it just sounds like it’s an equally bad option with no upside and a tonne of risk.