My life is an uphill battle

I've been kicked around even before I was born, literally cause I had perinatal asphyxia...

Nevertheless, 20 years later and I'm stuck. Never had a true friend, my first and only partner broke up with me after a comically short time, blamed me and isolated from the shared friend group in college and now no one speaks to me. I'm not successful in my field of study. Truly, I thought my depression was in remission, but I feel it creeping back. I can't meet new people in this small town. My major is all-consuming and I don't have time for hobbies and even if I did, I would be too tired anyways.

The loneliness is crushing me. I can't talk to anyone about my mental health. I can't relate to my peers. My life consists of missed opportunities. I had to study to get into college so no parties. I was a nerd so why anyone would even consider me there?

I don't know - my life's too much right now. I don't even expect anyone to find this post. Shit sucks. I'm allergic to dairy and got served a cheese hot dog today, the only one available. The universe is laughing at my face. Fuck this life...