Malakai once said…

“Do you have a dial to change to a different station, cause this one is pretty ass.” -To Alastor

“I still can’t believe Charlie willingly shares a bed with a sour bitch like you.”-To Vaggi

“Old? OLD?! I’m Thirty-FUCKING-Four, thank you very much!” -To Velvette

“How many lobotomies do you think she’s had?” -To Cherri, while pointing at Nifty torturing a family of bugs

“I may look more like a sheep, but there is no doubt that I am one hundred percent the GOAT!-During a promo

“Oh yeah, a gift basket and a half assed apology totally makes up for thousands of years of genocide.”-After hearing about hearing about heavens plan.

“I wonder if Vox nuts thermal paste…”

“Overlords are nothing but thieves and scam artists who lie, cheat, and steal their way to success, and not in a cool Eddie Guerrero way either. Just a bunch of power hungry scumbags.”

“I’m sorry, did someone forget to tell you that I am, in fact, Him?”-During a Promo

“I may have lost my temper slightly.”-After wrecking most of the bar because Husk had the audacity to insinuate that wrestling is fake

“Why the fuck would I ever want to be redeemed when everything I have ever wanted is right here?”-To Charlie

“Oh…that’s a cute toy. Can I borrow it sometime? I’ve had a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth for like a week, and that looks like it might just do the trick.”-To Vaggi

“Hey, Hey, Hey, shut the fuck up, someone actually worth listening to is talking now.”-Interrupting someone else’s promo

“Hey, just so you know, smiling all the time doesn’t make you mysterious or whatever you’re going for. It just makes you look like a pervert.”-To Alastor

“I know right? I can’t tell you how bad I’d like to knock those yellow ass teeth down his throat and watch him choke on ‘em.” -To Lucifer while talking about how much they hate Alastor

“Hey, do me a favor would ya? If I ever agree to make a deal with you, that ain’t me, that’s an imposter. Kill them.”-To Vox

“Unless you feel like learning what it feels like to be beaten to death with your own arm, I suggest you shut the fuck up.”-To Velvette

“SUCK IT!”

“So I almost beat a man to death for real on Live TV, so what?!”-After his opponent gave him a bloody nose with a mistimed kick.

“Gotta say, you’re my favorite person in this joint by far, though the competition ain’t too stiff.”-To Lucifer

“If somebody touches my title belt again, I’m gonna stick my foot so far up your ass that you’ll be chewing on the gum on the bottom of my shoe!”

“I’m not so much of a ‘An Eye for an Eye’ kind of guy, I’m more of a ‘Your spine for an eye’, kinda guy, you feel me?”

“Sorry, I kinda zoned out there. Which part was I supposed to give a fuck about again?”

Idea Stolen from No_Comfortable3621