I just can’t stay 5’5 anymore. I just can’t. I’ve stopped looking at myself in the mirror.

I’m 20. I’ve been height obsessed more than almost 2 years now. I’m 164-65 cm on the dot. Right on the dot. I’ve been planning to get this surgery for a very long time and I want to get it done before I get into a college or university. Whenever I wake up the first thing that comes to my mind is my height. I’ll think about it all day. I’m just tired of it. I can’t bear it anymore. At this point it has caused me a lot of anxiety. I start to lose myself sometimes. I really don’t wanna sound obsessive or anything but it has really affected my life and it always will until I don’t find a solution for it. I wish my starting height was at least 170 so one surgery could have done the work of me. I’ll have to get 6 of my damn bones broken to reach 178-179 cm and that’s really a height I would accept. I just don’t understand why some people like me and a lot of people on here have to suffer so much against something we can’t control. I’m planning not to do this surgery years apart. Just quads. No matter the pain, the loneliness, the anxiety, the suffocation I’ll face it all. At least after all that I’ll be able to look at myself in the mirror and finally not blame the person looking back on something I couldn’t ever control. Any advice, tips would mean a lot to me. I really want to get out of this phase of my life. Considering Dr. Giotikas or Becker for quads by the way. Financing is an issue but I’ll cover it up through loans and interest since I’m a crazy when it comes to making money on the web.