Need advice

It this what marriage is supposed to be?

So my husband was the best guy in the world when we were dating or maybe I just ignored a lot of red flags at that time. We have been married 9 years and dating 3 years before that. Our marraige has gone through it the last few years but I thought things were coming back together. It really is like some big stuff and then lots of little things.

**Money-** He thinks it's okay for him to spend OUR checks on whatever he wants but I'm supposed to check with him before I spend any. Nope, never going to happen if he isn't. But, when I do spend money, it always comes up. Well if you didn't buy this, then we would have that. If I bring up his things (collectible$) then he will say well it's not my fault you are boring and do not collect anything. But then he says we have all kinds of money, and that if I didn't try to save money then I would be able to spend more. He lives under the impression of "but I could die tomorrow." and I am more like "but I may live until tomorrow and need some money then."

**Groceries-** He hates to buy groceries. He was a big boy throughout highschool and then lost a lot of weight once he started working and eating once a day. I thought we were playing the other week when he blurted out that "I spend all the money with my fat \_ \_ \_ always wanting to eat." I was like "how long you had that bottled up?" Then later he said he just said it to hurt my feelings at that moment and didn't mean it.

If I eat an orange or apple, then he will say well you should be good through lunch. I dealt with this stuff my entire life with being put on diets and stuff. After we got married, I found out I have PCOS and there is a really small chance that I can get pregnant. This factors in with my weight and hormones and all that. He knows all these things. He held me when the doctor told me all this and then has the nerves if he sees that it upsets me to say that he was just playing.

**Sex-** What's that? At the beginning of our relationship, we were frequent. Now, it's rare and not all that enjoyable. I would rather do without it on the occasional days. He says he has never been big into all that. But if he wants to, then I should be all for it, huh? So if it's mentioned lately, then it's been a big nope from me!!

**Sleep-** We have a full size bed that we share with each other. He doesn't like to cuddle and I do. He is the kind of person that will fall asleep in 3 minutes and I can lay there hours before going to sleep. Before he falls asleep, he will get mad. IDK if it's anxiety about sleeping (He's afraid he will die in his sleep) or if he just really hates me. But in his words, I am a whore and am sleeping with everyone while he is at work.

He gets really jealous over anything else that takes my time away from him. Like my dogs, cats, and family. I am a big animal lover and family person, and I just don't think those things are ever going to change.

FYI: He is not physically abusive, but is this what marriage is supposed to be like? He is 42 an I am 38. I don't think this is what I was signing up for when I signed our marraige certificate. I want a refund.