How should've reacted in this situation

I was having a normal conversation with my mom just talk about the age gaps between my brothers which is around 2 years. I am around 8 years apart with my first brother and 6 years apart with my younger (older) brother. I jokingly told my mom that I came like 10 years later.

She proceeds to tell me she wishes she didn't have me because I didn't do one thing she didn't like. How I am more difficult than my brothers just because I am a person with decisions and she can't control me. Even so, I feel like most of the time I live with her decisions, and I don't feel I have a sense of self, so I don't really understand.

For some reason, I got upset because mentally I felt like a boundary was crossed. I mean how could someone tell you they wish never gave birth to you. I didn't want to get upset but I did. I told her it was not acceptable to say that to anyone, and I said I would never say anything like that to you. She told me whatever I say to you can never be said to me because we are in two different positions. I still held my ground and found it unacceptable to say to me and that anyone would be upset with a statement like that.

She said well it's a reality and how I can't take a joke for a situation. Once I started crying she told me to not even look at her and look down because I am disrespecting here. Honestly, I could get less of a fuck of what she says, but I am more hurt that there is no respect for boundaries here or rather that I am not allowed process emotions. Either when I cry or get angry I shouldn't be and I should learn how to accept everything. Which is affecting me because I am still human at the end of the day with feelings.

How should I go around her personality, it's incredibly exhausting and emotional to be around her