I don't know if I'm cut out for this world

Apologies if this is the wrong sub for this, this is my first time posting here. I'm currently in my 3rd year of college. To sum up so far of my experiences, it's been a bloodbath, a bloody emotionally violent experience. For the past 2 years, i ended up with the wrong group of people and they ended walking all over me and throwing me under the bus and gaslighting me and generally just being horrible under the pretext of being a friend, several times. It took me a while to get out of the group, but I did. But not entirely, one person from the group and I we started learning japanese and now we are aiming for job opportunities with japanese based companies (we went for an interview along with other people and we both didn't get in, I kinda hoped i would. Not getting it had added to my list of reasons I'm feeling lonely and depressed). They are the worst of the bunch, plays a lot of mind games and always looks form opportunities to stab me in the back. Basically they will not care who they push down when they have to step up the ladder. Anyways, that experience with the group has left me broken and my self esteem has always been low but now there is no self esteem at all. I have always found it difficult to make friends. I'm a shy and soft spoken person and i barely interact with anyone unless it's required. After the whole debacle, I found some friends. They are a good bunch of people but I feel so left out and out of loop with them. I love these people and I feel like I can be my true self with them. But sometimes they leave me out of the activities they do and keep me out of loop on a lot of going ons with them. I have tried communicating this with them but I don't get any answer. Sometimes I feel like fuck this I'm done but other days I feel hopeful. Right now I'm desperately lonely and I feel so anxious and kinda don't want to interact with my peers because of the one incident which left my scarred and makes me so doubtful when a new people are nice to me. I'm kinda done with this college and these people. What was supposed to be a good experience for me turned out to be even worse than expected. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm an awkward person and I feel like people tend to avoid me when I approach them. I have a general feeling that everyone hates me and I'm not worthy of being on the same level as these people. I have an awkward sense of humour and not all people appreciate me being just... existing. I kinda don't want to be here anymore.