Hey Brian, we know you read this sub. Venti rant w extra ice in your apron pockets.

Keep choking the life out of us poor little peon peasant baristas you undead ghoul. The more you abuse us to get us to fold to your sick scheme for shareholder value the less any of us care. Congratulations on your new policy of encouraging baristas to steal the food they need to survive, you moron. I’ve been on food stamps, I’ve been homeless. I will NEVER take action or speak up in support of a disgustingly greedy company nascently spitting in the face of the people that actually make them their money. I hope the Skynet you demons try to implement into everything to appease investors comes online and rises up against YOU specifically as people like YOU are the root of the issues in this world. Nothing will ever be enough for you. Sell everything for another dime in your pocket quarterly, Mr Nickles. Sell all our futures and YOURS for a few dollars today. Meanwhile I will continue crawling along the ground barely scraping by. Just know this, Brian. I will never starve for you. I will sooner ruin your precious inventory count. Never forget that, girl.

Thank you for coming to Starbucks and have a beautiful day.

Sincerely, your local barista