My brother has always been an asshole to me. But I struggle with how to react when people say he's a saint.

My brother (35M) and I (37F) aren't close. It's like a sibling rivalry and a personality clash. The typical introvert (me) vs extrovert (him). He was my bully. We have had so many fights as kids. Like full on fist fights. He often wish I was adopted since I'm not "normal." He often made fun of my appearance and weight. I won't lie I'd usually retort with mean comments, too.

Over time, I thought we'd grow out of it. But even now as adults, our relationship is strained. He's a family man now and runs a small, successful business. But I don't get any updates about him or his family. I'm the only family member he's blocked on Facebook and Instagram. At family gatherings, he's stopped the physical arguments but continues to mock me or make offensive jokes about me. I often catch him rolling his eyes whenever I take part in conversations. At times, he pretends I don't exist or downplays my successes. Like when I got promotion, he "joked" how I only got it by sleeping around.

Honestly, I have given up making amends with him. I don't excessively hate my brother but I can't say I love him as much as my other family members anymore.

What I do struggle with is when I meet people who know him. I live in a medium sized city but still run into his close friends, his wife's side of the family, or his employees. He's a huge social guy so it happens a lot. The conversation topic usually becomes about him. How he's a super nice husband, a saint that helps out with the community, a good boss, or how fortunate I am to have such a great brother, etc.

It's a struggle for me because I don't/never see that side of him. He's always been and continues to be an asshole manchild to me. Sometimes I wonder if we're even talking about the same guy. But it was still embarrassing to find out news that my brother got a third kid via his employee.

While I am tempted to share my perspective of him, I don't intend to ruin my brother's reputation, especially if he is really a saint as everyone says. So I try my best to pretend he's a "nice brother." In truth, it sucks though. At times it hurts to hear how he's so nice to others but not to me. I also get tired for having to do fake positive reactions.

What do people do to make things easier for situations like this?