Ex friend in town

A few years ago, i became part of a group, last year, things started changing as ( i’m my point of view ) they started to get more irritated with me. i know that i was dealing with personal issues and financial issues. i tried ( in my opinion ) getting better. i thought i was. No matter how much i tried being nicer or stopped talking about my issues, it didn’t change their attitude towards me. they were rude, made fun of me, always got irritated with me and it got to the point where i felt like i couldn’t freely talk or else id get them angry with me. anyways, getting to the point, i havent talked to them in about three months and my friends partner is in town and it just hurts me. i dont know why and i want it to stop. i want to stop caring about them all, but for some reason, i can’t. the partner in question always made fun of me and always took things too far. please help me, i hate having all of them on my mind. i’m even terrified to share this because i’m scared they’ll see it, even if they don’t go on reddit.