Therapist refusing ERP

So I have been in therapy for around 5 years now, started from severe agoraphobia (themed around feeling stuck in childhood) and ocd type suicidal ideation (fear of doing it). the ocd has moved on to other themes in my life since such as compulsive eating, had some relationship type aswell, and I also have "just right ocd" regarding body sensations.

When I started I did some exposure work but it was all me doing it outside sessions. It did work to an extent but I still have some anxiety attacks and recently I have been going into avoiding places again due to going through a difficult period and not wanting to go through anxiety discomfort anymore if I am not sure what to do in the moment.

I have asked my therapist 3 times now to do interoceptive exposure in session, once a while ago for fear of panick attacks but she said it would retraumatize me ( i was not having them actively but fearing the sensations, due to a horrible panick attack I had in the past) once for my fear of numbness and she said there is no exposure she can do around that, and once 2 weeks ago when I was going to book in specifically for interoceptive exposure and I asked if she does it and she literally left me on seen.

I wanted it to be in session because I wanted someone to be there and to make sure that I am not doing any safety behaviours while in the anxiety attack, and experience a real time peak and drop.

I am a therapist myself and I would love to take up ERP with clients, I have done my training, and I wanted to do it myself aswell.

I am now in a place where I am literally afraid to take it up because I don't know what her true reason is for not wanting to do it, and a new therapist would not have my history to know / I would have to go through the whole thing again.

Has anyone got any thoughts about this please?