I forgave him

he raped me when I was 14. I was upset at him for so long but he messaged me a few months ago and hes so nice, he apologized. Im 17 now, weve been sexting for a while. hes sometimes pushy and gets me to do things I dont want to but its ok bc hes really nice. he said he doesnt want to say he loves me and that made me feel sad. got me to do some things that made me hurt alot but he didnt mean to make it hurt. I love him