on the topic of self-hate

there’s something i’ve noticed about this place for a long time that i find kind of interesting

it doesn’t actually have to do with the normie-shift the sub’s been having for a while, it’s been there for longer than that, and i’m pretty sure i’ve even seen it in tranistan (before i kinda just stopped using it)

it has to do with the reputation this sub has of being filled with people who hate themselves. in my opinion, i do not think this is true

the vast majority of users here seem to fall into two camps: disillusioned but actively have the skills and willpower to do good and great things, and people who have suffered/are suffering a great deal due to the world around them or their own uncontrollable circumstances. or both tbh

the former group are usually the super cool people you see around here. most of the mods prolly fall into this category

the latter group is what the average reader of this post probably is.

the mentality that people tend to have here is that their life struggles are caused by some force they cannot control, whether it be internal or external. they’ll talk about struggles they faced when they were young, and how that reverberates to the present day. some may even be actively overcoming it to make themselves into greater people

to all those people: im sorry you had to go through what you did, and i hope you are able to help improve yourself against all odds

here’s the thing, however. this group has a target of hate that isn’t themselves. their parents, their community, their religion, society and law at large, what have you not

you have reasons for your situations, and your have (justifiable) targets whom you hate.

is that really self-hate?

wouldn’t self-hate be considering your own self to be the source of not just your own struggles but those of people around you, and thereby justifiably hating yourself?

i’ve tried to explain this phenomenon on here (or was it tranistan? idk) before, but people seem to not understand what i’m talking about. they’ll mention either “yeah i went through xyz hardship when i was young but ive managed to do so much good regardless” or “well, those people who have actual skills and hobbies and interests are neurotypical/better off, so don’t sweat it”

hardship -> inability to self-actualize is obvious, yeah. but what if the hardship isn’t there? what if someone had everything going for them but is just… unable to function? unable to do even the things that kinda interest them? unable to posses a single redeeming quality? unable to do anything but harm those around them? a literal stain on society?

let’s say then that this person recognizes who they are, and then begins to genuinely self-loathe. wouldn’t that be what actual self-hate looks like?

as a more clear example, people on here like to talk about struggles they just had and vent about them, complaining about the cause of that struggle. this is perfectly fine ofc, since it isn’t their fault and people deserve to have their issues known and deserve to have people to talk to about them. it’s venting your emotions out — a good thing

there are times when i also feel unbelievably negatively or stressed out/annoyed/mad/what have you not about something in my life, and i obviously feel those self-centered emotions when they first come up. however, i quickly take a step back and think about it, and realize that it always ends up being my fault. not even the 0.1% roll (something i can’t control) but my actions in response and my general ability to function in society (something i can control). do note, i have no mental issues, and my life is absolutely FULL of ways in which i have been blessed and privileged. yet i’m still like this. therefore, i realize that there’s no true purpose in feeling those emotions, and that they shouldn’t be vented out for obvious reasons

does it make sense yet, hopefully? self-hate shouldn’t be a nebulous concept, it should be someone who hates themself specifically. not the circumstances that lead to their own issues, but their own being and thought process and abilities and existence

just to be clear, i’m not saying self-hate is a “good thing”, absolutely not. if you don’t self-hate, think of that as a good thing in your favor, but i’m saying we should be more clear with using that term to apply to ourselves and to others

i’m also not saying i’m the only one here who feels like this about myself, i’m not so arrogant (i hope) that i’d think like that. there’s probably some people here who also feel like that, who didn’t see previous times i’ve mentioned it (fair bc im primarily a lurker and lurkers don’t deserve rights lol), and are just now hearing an explanation to a vague feeling/disconnect they’ve had for a while. if that’s you, i hope this post makes things clearer for you

(sorry for yap)