PIV pain even after endo surgery

Hi everyone. I’m looking for advice or even just some hope. I’ve been using a 5-set dilator kit for about a year. I can insert up to size 4 comfortably, but size 5 feels impossible and painful. My husband is larger than size 5, so PIV is still very painful.

My Progress & Surgery:

I had endometriosis excision surgery 7 weeks ago. Before surgery, I struggled with a burning sensation, piercing pain, painful defecation, and UTI-like symptoms. Since the surgery, the burning and other symptoms are gone, but that "piercing" pain during insertion remains.

The "Plateau":

When I started, even size 3 was a struggle. I pushed through the pain back then until I progressed, but that strategy isn't working for the final jump to size 5. It’s been 10 months since I’ve been able to have PIV. Before surgery, we could occasionally make PIV work if I just pushed through it, but I haven't been able to get the largest dilator in for a year. I don’t push through for my 4 dilators any more, I stopped pushing through for the 5th because I read it makes things worse. I do belly breathing and moo breathing too.

Now, I’m frustrated because even though my body is in less pain overall than before surgery, PIV still won't work. I do my pelvic floor PT exercises for 15 mins, 3x a week, but I feel totally stuck at this final step.

My questions for the community:

• How did you bridge the gap when "pushing through" stopped working?

• For those who had excision surgery, how long did it take for the "piercing" pain to subside so you could achieve PIV.

I feel like I’m right on the finish line but I just can't cross it. Any advice or encouragement would mean the world.