Birthday at Tirumala – something I still can’t explain 🙏

This Sunday was my birthday, and to be honest, this year hasn’t been very kind to me on a personal level. A few days back, I was just thinking—it’s been around 2–3 years since I moved to Bangalore, but I had never gone to Tirumala. Mostly I kept putting it off because of how difficult darshan can get.

This time, something felt different. I decided I wanted to be there on my birthday.

I started Friday night and first went to Srikalahasti. After darshan, I really wanted to try the famous Sri Kalahasti kova, but the milk cooperative society shop wasn’t open that early in the morning. Had to leave for Tirupati without trying it—maybe next time.

Reached Tirupati, and since I was traveling solo, I couldn’t get accommodation in TTD accommodations. Booked a private room instead.

Went for Sri Ammavari darshan (took Srighra tickets—thankfully it was quick), and then spent some quiet time near Padma Sarovar. There was no rush, no plan—just sitting there and letting things slow down a bit. Came back to the room and slept, knowing that was probably going to be my last proper rest for the trip.

In the evening around 5:30 PM, I started climbing the Alipiri steps.

The climb itself felt… peaceful. The weather was decent, people around chanting, families walking together—it didn’t feel tiring, it felt grounding. On the way, I stopped at a Hanuman temple and ended up having a 10–15 minute conversation with the pandit ji there. We spoke about my native place in Bihar, my work in Bangalore—just a simple, unexpected conversation that stayed with me.

Reached the top around 8:30 PM.

Headed to Venkatadri Nilayam (PAC 5) to get a locker—it took me around 30–40 minutes to finally get one. Freshened up a bit and then just went and sat around the temple area.

I wasn’t doing much—just sitting there, listening to bhajans on my phone, watching people, absorbing the whole atmosphere. Somewhere during all this, midnight passed… and I entered my birthday right there, in front of the temple.

I tried to sleep later but couldn’t.

Around 5 AM, I got up, freshened up, took a dip in Swami Pushkarini, and went for Varaha Swamy darshan.

After that, I did the 7-point Tirumala sightseeing—Japali Hanuman temple, Akash Ganga, Papavinasam, and others. It took around 4 hours, and the heat was quite intense by then.

Came back, rested a bit, and then went for my Srivani break darshan (around 4 PM slot). Reached the entrance around 3:30–4, and it took roughly 2 hours overall.

But those 2 hours… especially the last few minutes… are something I still can’t explain.

I was continuously chanting “Om Namo Venkatesaya” in my mind.

And when I finally stood in front of Him—something just shifted.

I couldn’t look anywhere else.

I don’t remember anything except His face. I don’t know how the hands looked, what He was wearing, the decorations—nothing. For those 1–2 minutes, my eyes were just fixed on His face. It felt like everything else disappeared.

I’ve never experienced anything like that before. I just stood there… completely still, completely absorbed. It made me very emotional.

After coming out, I collected laddoos, had the prasadam inside (banana and that jaggery kheer they give), and stepped out.

Later, I was just sitting in front of the temple again—listening to bhajans on my phone, chanting quietly, talking to my mom on a video call and showing her the surroundings.

That’s when I noticed some movement in the crowd. Elephants, people getting a bit restless.

Then I realized—the Lord’s procession (with Padmavati Ammavaru) was being taken inside the temple.

I wasn’t even planning to stay that long. But in that moment, it just felt like… He came to give me a goodbye.

There was a small opening in the barricade, people started moving in, and somehow I also got a spot. I ended up standing right in front, watching the procession enter the temple.

This time, I was even more emotional. It’s hard to put that feeling into words.

After everything settled, I slowly started walking back towards PAC 5. At one point, when the temple was about to go out of sight…

tears just started falling.

And in my mind, I said:

“I will come back again, Lord. I will return when you call me. And next time, I will come very soon, bringing my entire family with me to be with you.”

Returned the locker, mat, blanket. Around 10 PM took a bus down to Tirupati, and by 11 PM I was already on an RTC bus back to Bangalore. Reached home around 5 AM Monday.

Still processing everything.

TL;DR:

Went solo to Tirumala for my birthday and ended up having a deeply emotional, almost unexplainable darshan experience where I felt completely absorbed and connected. Stayed back just sitting near the temple, and unexpectedly witnessed the Lord’s procession being taken inside—something I hadn’t planned at all, but it felt like a final moment, almost like a personal send-off. Left with tears, a sense of calm, and a feeling that something within had shifted.

(PS: Took a bit of AI help to frame this post, but every word of the experience is real.)