(How) would I design an inclusive gender selection UI element?

Hi everyone,

I’m working on a product/design question and would really value perspectives from people with lived experience and expertise around gender-inclusive design.

When a website or app asks for gender, what makes that interaction feel respectful, inclusive, and welcoming to you? I’m especially interested in practical UI details, such as:

Whether gender should be asked at all, and in what contexts it feels appropriate or inappropriate Preferred wording for the question and options Whether free-text, multi-select, “prefer not to say,” or “self-describe” options feel better or worse

Positive examples you’ve seen that felt thoughtful Negative examples that felt alienating, invasive, or poorly designed

I’m not looking to debate anyone’s identity or put the burden on people to educate me. I’m hoping to learn what design choices reduce friction, avoid assumptions, and make users feel respected.

Any advice, examples, or “please don’t do this” experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.