What is this feeling? Can you relate?

I tried to describe this feeling to my family, and I fell flat, so I’m trying here.

I can’t just snack/eat without thinking like I used to, and I have a lot of anxiety around food, now, since one wrong move means days of illness. I will often just snack or eat nothing at all to make sure I’m safe.

Whenever I have an entire balanced meal of all gf foods, and I’m able to eat until I’m full, I feel overwhelmed with such relief and gratitude that I feel emotional. Can anyone relate to this? Is it because it’s still new, only a year?