I feel like i have to choose between my career and my partner

I (21F) have started working in a very nice job both knowledge and financial wise, which seemed impossible to me few months ago, recently my boss confessed to having feelings towards me ( even though he knew I had a boyfriend) I politely explained that I am in a happy long-term relationship and I dont want to affect this relationship negatively in any way, afterwards I let my boyfriend (22) know, he told me to not work there anymore, I agreed but later I saw that one of my projects did amazing, it became an overnight success, so i cried a lot which made my boyfriend even more mad, ( if I can have a FP as a person with BPD can I also have a favorite job which im attached to? have any of you experienced this?) when I woke up I decided I had to go to work and check out how well my project did, so I stayed there, my partner got very upset and told me that he’s going to go to his country for his military duties ( which we had postponed for 2 years) , he said it has nothing to do with the fact that I continued working but he is very cold to me so I know it’s about that, I relapsed on my SH which he didn’t even comment or comfort me about even though he saw some of it, I couldn’t eat all day today, I genuinely feel like my world is collapsed, but I cant cry anymore, i feel the pain physically throughout my body and heart that I can never do something right, that I can be disposable, that I will never ever be loved no matter how hard I try. I just want to end it, but my nervous system feels “lazy” to even attempt that.