ive lost all my support

-this is just a rant. probably no one will read this, but i need to get this off my chest before it kills me.

since i was 13, i've been seen by a pain management team in a childrens hospital at london. they helped me get mri's and tests, give me coping strategies and help me with my everyday life. but i turned 18 june last year, and now thats all gone and i've been left to figure everything out by myself.

i was referred to an adult pain team about 4 months after being dismissed, but they sent me away saying "you're too complicated for our team." and i was then referred to a different pain team, this time in london (which is expensive to get to). so i waited another few months for this appointment, and i so stupidly got my hopes up...just to be told it's basically a rehab/psych ward but for chronic pain and that, again, im too complicated for their fucking programme.

im not well enough mentally or physically for chronic pain treatment that i could actually benefit from. since then, ive been left, crying every fucking night in pain because no one will help me. i feel abandoned and so fucking helpless, i dont know what to do anymore