Been left pregnant with his child

Hi all. It’s taken me a very long time to realise that I’ve been dealing with a narcissist, despite the fact that my mother is also one and that has (in my opinion) left me vulnerable to repeating this cycle. Here’s the story; I’d love some advice on how to proceed or some reassurance that I’m doing the right thing.

We met when I was 8 months postpartum. My ex husband fell into drug addiction and disappeared just after my son was born. I was extremely fragile and vulnerable. This man POUNCED. It became very intense very quickly. He is eloquent, creative, attractive and has led an unconventional life - most of his adult life spent either travelling around Europe or engaging in ‘activism’. I thought he was so interesting and talented and felt lucky for his attention.

He was instantly FULL ON. But from the beginning he was in control of the progression of things and he was very loathe to commit to anything despite practically moving in within weeks. He had never had a job and had spent time in prison before we met for being involved in political activism. It was a worthy cause but it later transpired that he only really did it to reconnect with his ex - he wasn’t passionate about change. In fact, all the ‘activism’ he had done turned out to be him and bunch of other dysfunctional people living in trees/underground and taking drugs by the fire every night. I was so starstruck by how much I admired him, however, that I overrode my red flag-o-meter. When his blatant disregard for the law showed up repeatedly, I just thought he was railing against ‘the system’ that he spent all his time talking about.

Fast forward to 2 years down the line. He has never contributed financially to the household despite moving all his stuff in and refused to make any future plans with me. Everything financial was in my name despite the fact that he ended up earning loads through his dad’s business and had no outgoings. He completely cut me off from my entire family very quickly, and tried to damage my friendships too. He ran down my self-esteem constantly - I have never felt uglier or more inferior. He secretly used my old eBay account to sell dodgy stuff. He spent ALL his time calling everybody else sociopaths and narcissists, especially members of my family who he never even met. He has spoken intensely negatively and lied about me to all of his friends and family behind my back, telling them he was with me because I ‘have no one else’ (not true). I have several holes in the walls of my rented house where he threw chairs/punched walls. He talked me into stopping my long-term mental health medication, then punished me when I became unwell and didn’t help me to get support from my doctor. He rang me CONSTANTLY when I was with others, and got very angry if I received male attention whilst out. I woke up to him going through my phone which I think happened more regularly than I realised. He never, EVER took accountability and everything was apparently my fault because of my mental health. He was desperate for recognition and thought that my life was boring and holding him back from a life of admiration through a music career (?) or being some sort of famous activist. And, best of all, he has now got me pregnant under extremely morally grey circumstances and then ran away and came back 12 TIMES before I finally got a grip and kicked him out. I booked an abortion at 7.5 weeks but he showed up at my door and talked me out of it, only to leave again the next day. Now I’m nearly 10 weeks and the process will be much more painful and visceral when I start tonight.

On the bright side, my friends and loved ones have come out in full force to support me and every single one of them is SO GLAD that this is over. They have all been worried for a very long time. I last spoke to him several days ago, when he accused me of having munchausens (???). I have not said a word to him since, and he has done nothing but text me relentlessly backtracking and trying to get info out of me. I also happen to know that he’s setting his friends up to contact me and deliver messages for him and trying to get hold of my friends too. He doesn’t know if I have had a termination or not. I will never speak to this person again. If he turns up at my door, I will not be answering. I have read that no contact is the best course of action. Is there anything specific I should expect?

I think I now need to REPAIR MY SELF-ESTEEM so I stop choosing these people and ignoring the red flags just to be loved. I need to expel my equally narcissistic mother from inside my head and learn to be discerning and to EXPECT BETTER AND TOLERATE LESS. Never ever ever again.