How do I accept that I walked away from someone I loved so much.

Pata hai aaj kya hua?

I unblocked him. I want to text him everything that I'm gonna write bcz Obv can't let him know I'm devastated too.

I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years in the first week of March. Initially when I told him the first time that I want to end this, I thought he would try to make up with me. But he didn't. 2 days passed and he didn't even text. Then I called him, nd he said I can't be serious about leaving him. Lol.

So I left. I wanted him to talk to me, and apologise bcz Ik i would've forgiven him then. But he didn't, finally a week passed by. And that's when he realised that I was serious.

Lol

I feel so stupid, that someone could tell about their girl to their family and still fuck things up. Yeah, his mom knew, his Mama knew, his buaa knew, his daadi knew about me. I felt so special when I talked to his mom for the first time. How he told his daadi about me and she was so excited to see me (he recorded that conversation nd had sent me).

All of it for nothing? All of this just to make me cry like hell on my bday nd every other day after that. I waited...for 6 months, hoping he will realise he is doing wrong. But he didn't, he justified his rude behaviour and his ignorance towards me.

I was relieved when initially I decided to breakup bcz I felt like I can do it and he would be at peace too bcz my presence anyways annoyed him.

But now, he is crying and begging so much. It aches my heart to even think that he is suffering so much.

I love him. I will alwayssss wish good for him, but now I'm too scared and traumatized to go back to him.

I wish...I could tell him how much I loved him or hugged him tightly for one last time. But....life goes on!!!