I need someone to slap some sense into me please~my husband (56M) and I (47F) are having major problems. We've been married for 10 years, together for 15. What he is doing is unacceptable, correct?

If anyone wants to look back at my "sad girl" dinner, the post is the latest one on my profile. Basically, I found out that my husband has been having what I would call an emotional affair with someone on-line. They haven't met up and haven't even spoken on the phone. But I discovered that he also sent a dick pic to her. I then was able to find out that my husband sent her flowers for her bday last July, and Valentine's Day flowers this last February and the note he sent said something like "you're beauty and mystique" continues to make me want to get to know you more-or something like that. THEN I found out he's been sending her all kinds of gifts, like chocolate from Harry and David, a bunch of books he thinks she would like, and almost the exact same birthday presents that he got for me (my bday is in July also). According to my husband, he just felt bad for her cuz she doesn't have any money and no one ever got her flowers before so he wanted to just do something nice (eyeroll).

I demanded him to show me their back and forth emails, and he gave me some that were from August and September of 2025 and pretty tame, like just 2 friends emailing each other back and forth. I was able to find out this girl's email and she has actually been very helpful and open with me. She told me that it started out just friendly stuff back and forth, but more recently it got weird. She told me that he started professing his love for her and more sexual stuff (including the dick pic) and she got freaked out and stopped responding. So I asked her if she could PLEASE send me some of the more recent emails that got more sexual and I haven't heard back from her yet about that.

I know what you're all thinking---of COURSE they met up. But I am positive they haven't. We live in Oregon and she lives in Texas, and my husband and I are together at home pretty much all the time. There is no way he could have flown out to Texas to meet up with her. He says they've never even talked on the phone, and in the messages I saw from last year, my husband does say we should talk sometime and gave his number, but she also told me they haven't spoken, and she seems like she is being very open and honest with me.

I feel like I am going crazy---I am usually a pretty jealous person anyway, and have pretty low self-esteem, but I honestly thought my husband was one of the good ones who would never cheat on me. He tells me that they've never even met so how could he cheat on me? He also says they never chatted on Zoom or anything like that. But until I see exactly what those sexually explicit message say, I feel like I am just spiraling.

We have been together for 15 years, have this beautiful house, a cat and dog that I love more than anything in the world! But he sent a picture of his dick to someone in addition to other sexual emails, even though I don't have actual evidence of this. Will someone slap some sense into me please and tell me what to do?