Same post - got deleted previously ( need advice to cope up with these thoughts)

I'm turning 19F (single child) this year and this was my first drop for neet ...I

I already struggle from panic attacks and have been prescribed medications for it

And i ..messed up , i literally messed up my drop year

I failed my credibility as a daughter..I used to be topper till class 12th and now i failed ...not one time but This is the second time I'm going to fail now

I don't know how will i face my family

If I had the guts to end myself i could have done that... because I never faced any Failures and now I'm just at the lowest point in my life .

I never imagined I'll have to face a phase like that ..where I'm just disappointing my parents

I want to become a doctor so badly ..it was my dream and still it is

But now when I'm seeing that I'll cause disappointment to my parents and on top of that...i won't be able to get mbbs in my second attempt too

I'm feeling like I've lost everything in my life and it's falling apart

I just don't know why I shared all this but i from the past week was feeling suicidal... and couldn't cope up with the emotions I'm getting now

I know it's all my fault i should have tried my best to put all the efforts in this type of competitive exam ...but now I can't rewind that time and get things right

I Failed !