Need some desperate advice

Hello,

Im now 9 weeks pregnant and I dont know what to do. My husband and I have been together for 10 years.

When i found out i was pregnant I went really low and depressed. We thought we wanted kids but feeling this way made me question everything. I was feeling a lot of dread and anxiety, it felt like I was walking to a death sentence. Its also worth noting i had only come off my anti depressants around 5 weeks prior to finding out. I have since gone back on them.

Since going back on them the anxiety and full dread has started to dissipate but I still have a bubbling sadness underneath. Sometimes I will feel fleeting feelings of love and excitement but other times I dont feel excited at all, and just feel like I should get on with it because maybe thats just what's expected of me.

I have an appointment on Friday to talk about the possibility of surgical abortion. I want to give myself all the options.

Is this normal to feel this way? I dont know what to do anymore.