Had a relapse tonight.

I have been sober since around 11/8/23. At my worst I was drinking close to a handle of vodka a day with countless pills. Tonight I had an intense craving and gave in. I had a few shots and thought I could control it after so long being clean and sober. I was wrong. I just need someone to talk to. I am about to try and take a shower and sober up. I feel so ashamed and my family would freak out if they knew I drank. Definitely hitting a meeting tomorrow. It's been too long.