Silent Longing Beside Your Replacement

A dark room,

a lighted candle,

scents of eucalyptus,

silence filled with internal screams,

tears desperate for sleep,

and wounds spilling blood on the walls that can’t speak.

Shhhh.

Do not alarm him,

I am here.

I pray for more time to fill the buckets of my tears,

to clean the walls of my secrets,

and mute the never-ending screams of a desperate lover

trying to please.

I want the locks to keep away the outside,

for my bed to swallow my doubts,

to enjoy the pain that

I do not share out loud.

Let me embrace the lies,

before the truth comes to pull me out.

Before reality so arrogantly

runs fantasy’s time out.

Before I am pleasured by his hands

to think at all.

Before I consume my thoughts of another

as I remember that you are gone.

Before my lies overcome me,

spreading like a red stain

onto my white fantasy filled reality.

Before I am no longer his

nor mine.

Before it is too late to act.

Take me back.    

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