why do i get attached/attracted to every older male figure i meet?

hi reddit

this is a little weird to type out and post, but i don’t really have any sisters or a mother figure i can talk about this with soo here i am

i was wondering if there was any sort of explanation as to why i get attached/attracted every older male figure i meet? i have an amazing relationship with my dad, so ive crossed off that it may be because of “daddy issues”, and it’s also not like im craving male validation in general because i HAVE dated men my age and had good relationships. my main issue right now is that i crave that relationship with someone older than me? i don’t know how else to describe it besides liking the forbidden aspect of it and craving that validation and security from an older man.

i guess the reason that pushed me to write this is every time i’ve had a male teacher, i start to be obsessed with them, and end up seeking their validation when it comes to school work or something — i’ll literally go home and cry all day if i got a bad grade on something because im just that affected about how they perceive me and embarrassing myself in front of them.

i know some people might say it’s just a kink thing or something, but it’s been this was since i was 8 and im 16 now, still latching onto every older male figure in my life.

i don’t know if this detail helps, but every older man i’ve wanted has either been a friends dad or someone in a higher position than me (almost always a teacher or something so i guess its just called an authority male figure ?)

if anyone has an explanation for this or actually helpful advice, please let me know :)