Husband Committed a little over 3 weeks ago

I’ve been debating on reaching out to support groups, or find hope where I can.. I feel terrible, our marriage was rocky, he had his issues but I won’t go into that. I safely got “out” and visited family states away prior to him doing it. But I can’t help but question and find ways to connect the dots. He blamed me in two separate notes.. I tried to get him help several times. I wish he knew he had more to live for. Our 17 month old daughter was a daddy’s girl..

He shot himself and I just wish someone, anyone, that day could’ve helped him. He even got off from work early. How do I properly grieve a person that caused so much emotional/mental damage? I feel so conflicted.