I (20F) met a man (35M) online via IG. We had talked for 2 months, he love bombed & sold me a dream of wanting to start a family w/ me & getting married. He lived in another state on the other side of the country. I was living w/ my parents at the time so… it just seemed more logical for me to fly out to meet him in person. He seemed sweet & I fully trusted him at that point. TLDR.. I flew out to meet him & spent 6 days @ his home. He knew I was a virgin.. but had justified it to me that he would be my husband, so it shouldn’t matter. For those next 6 days, we would have sex multiple times a day. He didn’t want to ease me in.. he was aggressive.. sadistic even.. I bled the first few days. He wanted to film everything.. I felt due to us being long distanced, it’s only fair he would want to. He would use me multiple times @ night whether I was aware of it at the time or not. It wasn’t until I returned home that things started to feel off. His replies & attention would completely drop off. After 3 weeks of constantly blowing him up for answers.. he finally admitted he no longer saw a future w/ me. Though he admitted he enjoyed my body & would love to see me again. I finally understood he only ever saw me as a sex object.. 

Emotionally it’s very confusing.. I did tell him no.. but I would be lying if I didn’t say a part of me still craves him..

He started to send me screenshots & clips of us having sex every other day. I haven’t responded but I can’t help & admit I want it too..

He lied & took my virginity..but I want more..