feeling isolated

i want to preface this by saying im not shaming anyone for what they’re into. we have different wants and needs. i’m finding it difficult to be a part of lesbian spaces online because they’re very sexual most of the time kink/bdsm is not my cup of tea and i definitely cringe at the word “mommy”. those things make me feel unsafe which is not how i want to feel during sex. finding a partner has been a struggling because im too vanilla or boring for everyone. sex to me is repulsive without emotional connection and without that i can’t enjoy it. even on dating apps sexual compatibility gets brought up too fast and i understand that’s very important but at least ask me about my day before telling me about what you like in bed.

all this makes me feel like i can’t even be a lesbian because it seems to be a huge part of the community, at least online. i know im attracted to women but that’s it’s. i haven’t found anyone that is the same