Feeling stupid when off of my meds

For some context, I’m an engineering student who takes 20mg of Vyvanse daily. I was pretty successful in first year, did well in school and job search etc. On vacation right now and taking a break from my meds, and I feel so frustrated.

On my meds I wouldn’t call myself anti-social, but I am far from the life of the party, and had some pretty awkward social gatherings were I didn’t really feel like talking or have much to say. Off my meds, I feel super social, talkative, and much funnier, but I also feel like an idiot. I play a good amount of chess, and although I’m not that good to begin with, I’m like 200 elo worse off my meds. Chess isn’t an important part of my life, but I kinda treat it as a litmus test for how sharp I am day to day. It’s so disheartening having this balance between a smart me and a social me, and I also worry about my success and ego being mostly driven off of a kinda unfair advantage from Vyvanse. Not really asking anything I guess, just kinda venting.