so so tired of this

i’m so exhausted with this. i can’t focus on anything else in my life than food. it’s expensive. i’m in “recovery” but the binge urges are there and i’m trying to let myself keep it down.
just ate a lot of cheese puffs in my car at 10pm and am now trying not to purge by sitting on my bathroom floor cleaning the floorboards. when does it get better.