How badly have I screwed up, and how do I do better?

This is my first reddit post ever, and what a boring topic!

I am student loan illiterate. The forms, the websites, the constantly changing policies and plans -- it all makes my brain pinwheel. I'm desperately fearful that, in the past ~20 years that I've had these stupid loans, I've made some kind of gruesome mistake that screwed me up. And I'm morbidly curious to learn what that screw-up might have been.

All the gory details (this will be a long read, I apologize)

• Went to medical school in the late '00s, dropped out after 2.5 years
• Began repaying my loans in ~2011, always via one IBR plan or another, only making minimum payments
• In 2023, I lost my job and went on unemployment. Hired a sketchy for-profit student loan advisor to help me lower my monthly payment while I was burning through savings and job hunting.
• Sketchy Advisor advised me to consolidate my 8 loans (a mix of Direct Subsidized, Direct Unsubsidized, Stafford Sub, Stafford Unsub, Grad Plus, and Direct Grad Plus; oldest loan dated 7/2008; interest between 6.8% and 8.5%) into one Consolidated Unsubsudized (~$190,000, 6.625%) and one Consolidated Subsidized (~$18,000, 6.625%) and enroll in SAVE for $0 payment while receiving unemployment.
• In early 2024, again on the advice of Sketchy Advisor, I enrolled in PAYE with an income of ~$66k/yr (self-employed). Monthly loan payment ~$420
• Late 2024, I started a corporate job ~$185k/yr salary
• Also late 2024, got married, but my wife and I filed '24 taxes separately (as advised by Sketchy Advisor)
• 2024 and 2025, I was never required to recertify my income. Loan payment stayed at $420 even though my income had roughly tripled
• 2025: Wife and I filed taxes jointly (she stopped working in March, her income for 2025 ~$9k, my income ~$185k)
• 2026: twin babies arrived (yay!) and bought a house (yay but also ouch!)
• Today's student loan snapshot: current balance ~$219,000; I've made payments totaling ~$67,000

I stuck with IBR plans all these years because they all promised loan forgiveness at some point. I have no idea when that's supposed to happen for me. Sketchy Loan Advisor told me that consolidating and enrolling in SAVE, then PAYE, preserved my eligibility for forgiveness, but when I was paying $0/mo those months didn't count?

My current problem: Aidvantage wants me to recertify my income for PAYE by 5/5, but when I fill out the form online, it says I'm no longer eligible for PAYE and offers me a payment of $2,500/mo with no forgiveness. When I call Aidvantage customer support, they tell me to fill out the form and select PAYE, like I'm some kind of idiot who can't read the site.

That's a lot of info! Here's what I'm trying to figure out:

• How do I recertify and stay on PAYE?
• Is PAYE still right for me?
• How do I figure out if my loans will be forgiven, and if so, when?
• Will forgiveness actually help me?

Student loans make me feel like a moron, and I'm glad there are redditors out there who understand them!