My thoughts on Christianity and the afterlife

I am writing this not to bash or disrespect Christianity, Judaism, or any religion, but to express my thoughts on the purpose of life and life after death. Many believe that everything exists from God and that we should show gratitude by serving him and following his rules. As a former Catholic, I once believed this as well. However, the more I think about it, the less fond I am of the idea of having to worship another being. Some will think what I say comes from pride, as it is stated to be the first sin committed and is considered one of the deadliest sins in the bible. This may be true in the sense that I value my self-worth, but I don't put myself above anyone, nor do I put myself below them. I believe I'm equally important as everyone else. The fact that I have to subject myself to worship and obey another being doesn't sit right with me, especially as an American who believes in freedom and democracy. The same system of power we are told to subject ourselves to reminds me of a monarchy or dictatorship, which are two forms of government that are widely viewed as unfair and immoral (at least here in the United States). I say this to say that I don't think I can affiliate with one form of government that values freedom and liberation and simultaneously follow a belief system that emphasizes obedience.

In the afterlife, I envision my body transitioning into a soul and peacefully exploring a spiritual dimension that doesn't include Heaven, Hell, or Purgatory. I don't want to remain in a state of fear after I depart from Earth. I don't want to worry about whether I am going to live peacefully in Heaven or suffer for eternity in Hell for not showing obedience to a god. Now, I can acknowledge some flaws in my outlook on the afterlife. One flaw in particular is how the afterlife is for people who have left a destructive impact on others and society (i.e., murderers, sexual deviants, false accusers, etc.). It probably wouldn't be fair for someone who has committed a heinous crime to be peacefully exploring the spiritual realm. There may have to be some form of justice for those individuals, which might entail a creator. While I can admit I don't have an idea of how the afterlife should be for those individuals, my concern is for those who, for the most part, display good character without clinging to God. I don't think it's fair for someone who maintained a moral compass to be cast into Hell for believing in something different or not believing in religion at all.

In Christianity, the Bible emphasizes love, compassion, repentance, and forgiveness. We’re also encouraged to build a relationship with God. I can agree with these four concepts, however I find it extremely difficult to interact with someone who I can’t see and don’t know exist with the same principles. I can better express these emotions with those that are present here with me on earth. Now, hypothetically speaking, there can be a scenario in which I harm someone without knowing they exist. Say, for instance, I was the soldier responsible for striking another country with a missile from miles away and there happened to be 1 civilian severely injured. In the moment, it would be difficult to express regret and sorry for the civilian due to the lack of information I have about the civilian and their condition. It would be far more simple to apologize to the civilian once I am provided more information about them.

Hopefully my thoughts on Christianity and the afterlife. Hopefully this makes sense and if anyone can relate to what I’ve thinking thus far let me know!