Weird day at work, I've been taking my SRI'S

I just started taking my sri's again for my hyper bipolarism or whatever about 4 days back and today I actually got mad at work today and I feel that was a no-no.

Yesterday I got triggered, Usually I just ignore alot of the bs but it sparked something in me that stewed overnight like I felt I had been reverted back to my childhood being verbally abused and beat with a hanger by my mother for just doing anything helpful for anyone other than her.

That day I was helping cover the Desk clerk up front while they had to deal with packages and medical stuff for patients. I let my co workers in the group chat know I was assisting them. 20mins goes by and I get questioned

"If you know we have this going on???? ,Why haven't you done this? And why are you doing another departments job??? " I sat back and thought wtf I could be missing? Everything is in check my other co worker Is handling there tasks and I handled my tasks i apologized and said i would check with the bosses and my coworker before assisting anyone. But it opened up a old wound i sat with it overnight.

Then today I was feeling off yk, I got into work at my scheduled time and they were running behind so I just got into work mode and did my job. 45 mins goes by and i'm being questioned by the other department that is a little higher than my boss, on what i'm doing and why I'm not texting in the group chat immediately after i inform my boss where I am and what i'm doing via phone call.

They send this big ass paragraph basically saying we don't communicate at all and that there are no exception we need to Inform on every little detail and how they will be making a meeting for this because we fail to communicate. Mind you this bitch is working from home no where near the office. 😭

so when I got back, i dealed with them sending me on a goose chase asking the hospital the most dumbest questions " i know this guy got discharged yesterday but anyway i can get a foam boot?(:" (no those are covered by insurance and they gotta be actively in the hospital).

Bruh i told them what the hospital told me and they just say "they said over the phone we could have one!" And the dude that even spoke to her was saying he didnt say any of that so i fucking killed sum time and got a starbucks drink at the hospital since i was already wasting my time.

my boss asked if I was OK and I was like hell no and told them I just started my sri again and I started rambling about how its not cool for them to be so distrusting, when they themselves aren't even in the building working from home! And that when they talk to me like it only re-opens past trauma that I don't even realized I had cause I suppressed it so bad.

I called out for tomorrow and I feel like calling out next week , and possibly exaining that imma need sum time to adjust back into my meds.

I need to see my therapist to explain ts alot better but rn this is my outlet my b guys :( like it was super fucking hard to not curse in real time and be polite about the situation. Cause there was nothing really to be upset by but here I am feeling all mixed about everything 🫩 shoot I keep spiraling with my thoughts rn thinking about every little tiny scenario that could happen the next few days. But i'm trying to use my coping mechanism to keep my mind in the present not the future .-.