wrong sub maybe but are these memories real?

ok i have a bit of a dilemma as i have recently within the past year had memories recovered of being abused by my mom ever since my partner brought some things to my awareness about her. however, i still feel really just…. fucking gross and icky about being here and making this post bc there’s a part of me which thinks no way this ever happened and i don’t have very clear memories but for example when i was having a conversation with my partner he told me that when my mother was rubbing my back in bed and i felt ashamed in the moment he attributed my shame to a repressed memory of what she had actually done which was touch me sexually. let me be clear that while i believe it i still have trouble accessing the memory ig bc it’s repressed? i sometimes feel like i’m going insane bc why would i have no memory of my mom being this way and then suddenly become aware of it and feel awful all the time?

can somebody who unlocked repressed memories tell me if it plays out like this? i feel so so insane and my doubt is creeping in all the time.

i’m actually biologically female and wanted to post in mdsa but i think the mods haven’t been active for a while bc my request for acceptance is pending.

i just want to know whether my feelings are real or not so if someone can tell me conclusively whether this sounds accurate or not i would appreciate it so much thank you.