I (28F) realized I don’t want to marry my BF (32M)

TL;DR I (28F) want to break up with my boyfriend of 6 years (32M) because I realized I don’t want to marry him (no, he didn’t ask).

I (28F) have been dating my boyfriend (32M) for 6 years. In the last year or two I’ve started to have concerns about how differently we view our family relationships, and we’ve had some incidents where he has completely disregarded boundaries I’ve set with my family.

I was thinking about whether or not these issues would get better if we were to get married, and it snowballed into a realization that if he proposed to me tomorrow, I’d say no.

That is an awful thing to say after 6 years, but I’m a wedding planner so I spend a lot of time with people who absolutely cannot wait to spend the rest of their lives with someone, and I just don’t feel that way about my BF.

Overall, not great, but the most pressing issue is the timing of this realization for me. Our lease ends at the end of next month (we have to move as the house is being demolished), so we’re looking for places now. I think I need to do this now so that we both have time to find a new place apart (and not look for apartments together this weekend). The hardest part is that it will likely come out of nowhere for him, he’s been very helpful to me this past month while I’ve been dealing with personal stressors, and I do think he’s wonderful - we’re just not romantically compatible [enough].

Here are my questions:

- How to broach this conversation in a way that doesn’t feel like the biggest bomb ever dropped?

- Wondering if it would it be best to stick to “I’ve realized our outlook on family is too different?” (Versus saying “I don’t want to marry you” Bc that seems mean)

- How to handle a situation in which he wants to fix it? I’m open to trying that but I don’t want to lock in for 12 more months together when we’re in this stage.

Thanks in advance for any help!