Fuck my life. I don't even want to write this. I just want to fucking,,,,,dsjgl;kajg;ljsalkdgjal;sdgjl

i'm addicted to porn, the most pathetic addiction possible, but guess what? it's even worse. it's not normal porn, no no normal porn is to fucking tame for me i have to imagine myself as someone getting beat the fuck up for someone elses pleasure, i have to literally fucking punch myself when i'm watching. I literally punch my testicles. why? couldn't tell you that! i'm just fucking special i guess. Whoop de do.

I DON'T DESERVE FUCKING LOVE. 

i fucking try and i fucking try and i always put on my happy face for everyone but at the end of the day am i fucking happy? am i? fuck.

I don't even want love anymore. I want to be alone. I want to fucking rot by myself. I tried to meet a new friend and i did and they're really nice but guess what? the same night that i met them they met someone else and now they want to spend their time with them and they're in cutsie love and good for them but what about me? why will i never have that? oh you know what i did, with someone twice my age. Imagine that.

I have no friends. I have no one to talk to. I am stuck watching my body become further and further from the one that i want. and i just fucking.. god i just fucking hate everything. like fucking... ykw fuck this i'm done writing. this post is just for attention seeking anyways. i'm so fucking stupid.

I'm fucking done. tw abuse, sh...?????, suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation, addiction